Mouring *Warning: emotional content*

So, this is going to be a more personal, deep post. I just need to get it out, maybe it will help you understand me a little better since I am horrible at sharing my emotions.

As I'm sure most of you know, my parents left to go back to their home in Kosova last week. This may be odd and hard to you to hear (Mom and Dad) but its like I'm mourning the loss of them. My heart feels as broken as it did 2 years ago when Rich's precious grandma died, then in May when his grandpa followed her and especially how I felt it October when my own grandpa died. I just can't stop the slow, ragged, painful tearing of my heart; it keeps asking- everyday "why did they have to leave?!" I'm not sure why my feelings about them leaving end up on the same shelf as the death of a dearly loved one, I mean they are still around, not close maybe- only some 5,000 miles- that's a lot closer than death, don't you think? Its very hard for me to admit this- even to myself. I love my parents so much, and I love their hearts and the amazing ministry they have, but it doesn't seem fair that they had to leave. These years will only be here once and it kills me to not be able to experience them with my parents. There is only so much you can share with someone 5,000 miles away. Even if I didn't see them everyday my heart still feels so much lighter and my days are much smoother when I know Mom and Dad are only a short drive away. Maybe I just have issues, I dunno, but my heart still mourns for them- everyday.

Today's random updates

~So, I'm not a big fan of pacifiers- fine for other peoples kids but I never wanted my kiddos to get attached- well yesterday was so frustrating with a grumpy Eli refusing to nap and Sammy screaming and crying for hours straight, that out of frustration I gave a paci to Sammy and what do you know? He loves it! Argh! It was nice to have a peaceful house for a few minutes but I almost prefer him not liking it. . . Now dear hubby thinks Sammy needs it constantly- I would rather he only have it when he is unconsoled any other way. . .

~Sammy has been sleeping for about 2 1/2 hours now (without the paci), so I had the chance to finish up most of what is due tomorrow night.

~I actually got a shower today! Yeah, I had to wake up at 6 am to get it and of course Eli had to wake up as soon as I turned the shower on, so I had to listen to him screaming the whole time I was in there, but at least I got one!

~Evidently, we don't use ice cube in our house- we use Lincoln Logs! Elijah asks for a glass of water- no prob. He takes it in the living room and a little while later what do I find?


Yes, he really drank it! He seemed to like it too! I wonder where this strange child came from?

Culinary Adventures

I have learned that I do love to cook now that I have dishwasher! Too bad it is hard to undertake many culinary adventures with Eli tugging at my legs and Sammy on my shoulder! I do my best however, to cook yummy homemade things as much as possible.

Friday I made Chicken Noodle Soup. I take pride on the fact that I have NEVER EVER bought a bag of pre-made noodles from the store. I always make my own noodles for soup, usually with whole wheat so they are healthy and yummy! It really was quite the adventure- Eli helped me make the noodles and we ended up with flour all over the floor! Then he did NOT want the noodles on the table, but they had to be there to dry. We did eventually complete the soup. It was delicious! Here is the finished product:


Cookies are obviously a huge hit in our family too (at least with Eli!). So Sunday while the boys napped with daddy I mixed up some oatmeal cookie dough and then that night once the kiddo's were sleeping I cooked 'em up. These cookies are soooooooooo yummy! The oatmeal is ground up till its like flour. I ground some flax seed with it so they are even healthy!!

Normal Day

We are just having a normal day here at home today. Daddy is off at work. During nap time I made up the salad for dinner so all I have to do is cook up the pork chops and veggies. My Lil' Ham had another explosive diaper so he is on his second set of clothes today. After 3 unsuccessful attempts, Cookie Monster had a very good nap- 2 whole hours! During his nap I got the mail, went to the office and paid the rent, took out the trash and pulled out and tossed the dead vacuum and a bunch of other crap from the storage closet on the porch! So I guess I did get a few things done today!

Here's whats happening at the moment: Cookie Monster is having a post-nap snack of chocolate graham crackers and the Ham-O is sleeping like an angel.

Nap time

This is what nap time looked like yesterday. Ahhh! I wish I was lucky enough to have all my boys sleep at the same time everyday- just imagine how much a mommy could accomplish!